All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
