I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize