Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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