Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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