I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
