I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
