Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
