is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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