i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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