All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
