I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
