Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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