Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
