cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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