definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
