You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
