I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
