Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My feet surprised me
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