4 words: hood of his car
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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