I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
