Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
