Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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