oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
