This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just want nice things and good sex
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
