Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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