She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
