what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
