Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
