So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
