Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
