I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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