she was so not down for the gang bang
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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