I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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