but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
