If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
