Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
