youre lurking in front of me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize