Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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