You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
