can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
