I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize