There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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