talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
