So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
