no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize