The maid of honor just puked.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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