and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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