In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
