You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize