On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In other news, I just burned my penis
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
