All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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