I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Text me some of your sweat
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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