Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
