I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just gift wrapped bread.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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