fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
