it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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