i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he was CRYING into my vagina
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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