OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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