I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
