he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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