Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
